Tantrums are an inevitable part of child development, but they don’t have to be a nightmare for parents! While they may seem impossible to manage, there’s a simple and quick method that can calm your child in less than 30 seconds. In this article, we explain how to prevent and handle these moments with patience and understanding.

What Happens in a Child’s Mind During a Tantrum?

1. The Emotional Brain Takes Over

• When a child has a tantrum, the rational part of the brain (prefrontal cortex) shuts down, while the emotional brain (amygdala) takes over.
• This is why logical explanations don’t work in the middle of a meltdown!

2. External Stimuli Can Worsen the Tantrum

• Loud noises, critical looks, or trying to force the child to calm down can make things worse.
• The solution is to create a safe and calming environment.

The 30-Second Method to Stop a Tantrum

This method is based on techniques validated by psychologists and parents and involves 3 simple steps:

1. Get Down to the Child’s Level and Be an “Emotional Refuge”

• Instead of telling them to calm down, crouch down to their level and use a gentle tone.
• Eye contact and a comforting gesture can help reduce anxiety.

2. Name Their Emotion (“I See That You’re Upset…”)

• Help them understand their feelings rather than denying them.
• Example: “You really wanted that toy, and it’s frustrating that you can’t have it right now.”

3. Offer a Simple Choice (“Do You Want a Hug or to Breathe Together?”)

• Giving them a little control helps them feel safe.
• Guided breathing (inhale for 3 seconds, exhale for 5 seconds) is highly effective!

Other Ways to Prevent Tantrums

1. Create a Stable Routine

• Children need predictability. Keeping a regular schedule for meals, sleep, and activities can reduce meltdowns.

2. Use a Calm Tone Instead of Scolding

• When a child feels understood, they calm down faster.

3. Offer Positive Alternatives

• If a child can’t have something, offer them an acceptable alternative.
• Example: “We can’t have candy now, but we can choose a delicious fruit.”

What NOT to Do During a Tantrum

• Don’t yell – it will only increase the child’s stress.
• Don’t ignore completely – while ignoring may seem effective at times, the child needs to know their emotions are validated.
• Don’t always give in – giving them everything they want to stop crying reinforces future tantrums.

Conclusion

Tantrums can be stressful, but with the right strategies, they become opportunities for emotional learning. The 30-second method helps the child feel safe, teaches them to regulate their emotions, and makes these moments easier for parents to handle. Try the techniques in this article and see how your child responds!

Sources:

• American Psychological Association. “Children’s Emotional Development.” https://www.apa.org/
• Harvard Center on the Developing Child. “How to Handle Child Tantrums.” https://developingchild.harvard.edu/
• Child Mind Institute. “Quick Calming Techniques for Kids.” https://childmind.org/

Image by Alana Jordan from Pixabay

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